Why Nuclear Throne is still the best roguelike around

In an instant, it all comes back. The immediate sense of danger. The strategy, the weapons, remembering to grab a grenade launcher for the 2-1 bonus round and remembering to avoid opening the gates in 3-2 and 5-2 to keep them safe for the eventual loop. I make it to the Throne at record pace, busting the generators to break into the secret second phase… and then I beef it. Melted. A promising run killed in an instant, doomed by one slip up.

I need you all to understand, I used to be hot shit at Nuclear Throne. Back in uni I was obsessed, making sure to get a daily run in every morning before heading to class, ill-advised subwoofer blasting the sounds of Joonas Turner’s fat bassy gunshots into my neighbours’ ceilings (probably). Even if I never topped the leaderboards, I was a regular sight in the top 25, frequently clawing my way into the top 10.

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